Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
