Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
