In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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