You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
