dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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