He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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