Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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