cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
