now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
