This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
