we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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