It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
COCAINE IS GR8
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
