It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
