I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i would punch a child for taco bell
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
