i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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