so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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