if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
