you guys were way drunker than both of me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize