it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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