So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
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You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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