Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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