He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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