Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

In America we eat man semen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): In America we eat man semen. http://tfl.nu/5eyy

Replies (33) Good night (3275) Bad night (1236)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti

Replies (19) Good night (1111) Bad night (4071)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina. http://tfl.nu/qg49

Replies (28) Good night (1154) Bad night (20295)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed http://tfl.nu/2zh5

Replies (9) Good night (2722) Bad night (910)
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time? http://tfl.nu/50jt

Replies (15) Good night (3878) Bad night (885)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout. http://tfl.nu/uk8o

Replies (4) Good night (3656) Bad night (822)
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today http://tfl.nu/s99h

Replies (2) Good night (2276) Bad night (1009)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home? http://tfl.nu/a7up

Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (698)
Favorite
(919): View more from North Carolina

Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2

Replies (12) Good night (6573) Bad night (848)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me. http://tfl.nu/pgvw

Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (618)
Favorite
(520): View more from Arizona

Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(520): Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago? http://tfl.nu/8k0d

Replies (8) Good night (1071) Bad night (543)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what. http://tfl.nu/k4ko

Replies (5) Good night (1805) Bad night (625)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows. http://tfl.nu/8j3i

Replies (2) Good night (1125) Bad night (431)
Favorite
(917): View more from New York City

My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(917): My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts http://tfl.nu/5sws

Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (339)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u

Replies (6) Good night (351) Bad night (762)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: