He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
