then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason