I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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