fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
