Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Shame - the story of my life.
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