How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
