Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
