Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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