I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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