Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This house was built for laser tag.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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