Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize