I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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