Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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