Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
