I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
last night I used snow as a chaser
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
