halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
