once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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