I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
4 words: hood of his car
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
