Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
