The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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