He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
