Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
