so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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