am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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