I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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