You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
