So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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