Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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