i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
