cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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