I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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