pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
