therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he shaved USA in his pubs
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
