a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
