Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
