You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
