just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
