The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
