my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
