Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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