i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Randomize
