You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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