I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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