i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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