the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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